One of the first things people - specifically women - want to do when you announce your engagement is see The Ring. No, not the Japanese horror film or even the awful Hollywood remake. We're talking sparkle and bling, the everyday symbol that someone was prepared to spend the rest of their lives with you.
I wasn't entirely sure why I wanted an engagement ring so much. Had I been so conditioned by 'societal norms' that I didn't even realise I could make the decision not to have one? Or did I want to have something to show others and remind me about what is a supremely happy time in my life in much the same way my stretchmarks remind me of my children (don't worry, I don't show people my stretchmarks)? Or did it just come down to the fact that I like sparkly things?
I've thought about it and decided that it's a mixture of all three. But then what to pick? I knew I wanted a diamond (that's the social conditioning) but I didn't want a new ring. To my eye, they seem a bit... brash. And big. I blame America for this kind of thing.
See? Insane. No one apart from a Kardashian needs something like that.
Also, they're Very Expensive. Back in the 1930s, De Beers started a major campaign to increase diamond sales. In Don Draper-esque move, they came up with 'Diamonds Are Forever' and introduced the concept of spending a month's salary on an engagement ring. Then it became two months. Then three. I have a panic attack just thinking about carrying something worth that much around on my finger everyday. And we don't have that much money to splash on such a frivolity.
So what to do? I knew I wanted a diamond. I knew I wanted it to be discreet but sparkly and I knew I didn't have much money. After steaming up the window looking at perfect and perfectly unaffordable antique rings in the local antique jewellery shop, I headed to Ebay. There is the danger with Ebay that you may be buying a dud but that's where some research comes in. Look at what else the seller has on offer, check their feedback, look closely at the pictures. I spent about a week looking at various rings before selecting my favourite three. Then I asked Ray which he would pick for me. Proving he knows me well, he picked the same one that I had fallen in love with. Small but shiny and, importantly for me, reminding me of my gran's engagement ring, I broke with my Ebay rules and set up a snipe bid for it.
And it was mine.
Although it was a bit big. So off I went to the Nice Jewellers in town to have it resized. The woman I spoke to asked if it was an heirloom whereupon I had to confess to my bargain purchase. She then confirmed that I had indeed got what I paid for and that if I'd bought it from them, I'd have paid hundreds of pounds more for it. Off it went to be resized and a week later it was back and on my finger.
It might sound strange but having it there makes the whole engagement and future marriage seem solid and legitimate. Social media relationship statuses may be the modern way to tell the world but maybe De Beers were right and diamonds really are forever.
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